‘Leave me alone,’ Brad growled as he looked away. ‘Tanaya looked back at the tv broodingly as she opened her can of drink and took a sip. It didn’t matter what she tried to lighten the mood between them it always seemed to backfire and make the situation worse. She felt bad about making Brad feel uncomfortable around her yet again. ‘I’m sorry Brad, I know I’m only making the situation between us worse but I always seem to end up putting my foot in it and making things difficult.’ ‘Tanaya said into the tense silence after what seemed like forever but was only five or so minutes. ‘Maybe I should move over to the sofa at Brent and Matty’s until I get a place of my own.’ Brad said evenly. ‘I don’t mean to pressure you and I really enjoy your company, please don’t feel you have to leave because you’re not interested in what I so stupidly keep offering.’ ‘Tanaya said unhappily. She was starting to doubt the reactions she had noticed in Brad. Maybe he was getting aroused but just wasn’t. People came by to try and help, they made it worse. Her presence was everywhere, there was no way to escape. After a few weeks, I just drained the small savings we had, climbed in my old GMC pickup truck, and drove away. The truck finally gave up the ghost somewhere on the southern Oregon coast, I walked off and left it. Months passed, then a couple of years. I was drunk most of the time, and messed up on other things, to this day I couldn’t tell you what. I found a small group of others that hung out on the East side of Portland. One day became another, we would go out and sit on the sidewalk and beg quarters from passersby. Most would walk around us, not seeing. A few would hand us change, and there were lots of places where we could get a meal for free. One spring morning in 1978 I was sitting there, half sick and hungover, trying to get enough change for a bottle. Through the blur I noticed some white stockings, I looked up and this lady in a nurse’s uniform was standing there.
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